Whether used in your everyday interactions with friends and family or within business, there is no denying that body language plays the biggest role in people's perceptions of you and ultimately the results you end up with.
After all, body language accounts for 55% of the communication between you and others. Thats a big deal! Yet so many people are un-skilled in learning how to tap into this power.
" Its such a big deal that if your words and body language are seemingly conflicting, human's tend to default to believing what your body is saying over the words of your mouth! "
# THAT DODGY FEELING
Ever heard the songs 'hips don't lie', well there's truth in that the body is less likely to lie!
When we have a hunch or a 'gut-feeling' about someone, it is because we have picked up on something non-verbal which we sense to be shifty BUT we don't have the insight and skills to outright spot the body language for what it is and consciously de-code it's signals.
So now that you understand the importance and the effect your body language has on people, lets jump to how to use it in a positive way to persuade others. This doesn't mean manipulating, as the other person always is able to say no. It just creates the best possible environment for that person to feel comfortable enough to make a relaxed decision.
# ENVIRONMENT IS EVERYTHING
Just as you wouldn't mention when passing through a busy environment to your boss that you would like a pay rise, or asking as you say goodbye to a friend if they would like to go into business with you.
Its not manipulation but just setting the right environment for a relaxed decision to be made. If your body language is all over the place, it just puts the other person in a position where they cannot think clearly because your signals are throwing them off.
" Remember they are almost definitely defaulting to watching your signals- your words at this point are no longer the things being processed! "
You have left people with a positive FEELING!
Verbally you could have had the most pleasant of chats, however if your body language hasn't put that person at ease it was all lost! Words communicate details, body language communicates feelings!
How do you put someone at ease?
You enable them to feel acceptance from you. With people who we know like us we are fully comfortable, we are uncomfortable with people who we aren't quite sure if they like and accept us.
When two people really hit it off with each other. They mirror each other's movements. One leans in to talk and the other also moves their body inwards towards that person. One starts to get excitable and so the other mirrors and matches their excitement.
So in your interactions start mirroring the other person. Eventually they will start to say to themselves, 'wow this person really gets me'.
When someone feels that you GET them, they feel an affinity with you. They feel your share their beliefs and opinions, they think you must BE like them! 'Birds of a feather flock together' ehem....sounding familiar!?
" People like other people who are like them or like how they want to be. You just made a friend."
# THE HEAD NOD
You may be interested to know that the head nod is actually a semi bow!
A bow in its most subtle form. You can use the head nod to communicate that you are subordinate and therefor non-threatening. It also makes you appear agreeable as everyone likes to know they are being listened to and that their opinion is respected.
The likelihood is the more you head nod the more the other person may head nod, especially if you have been mirroring first.
Just be careful that you don't translate their head nods as direct agreement to what you are saying. Their head nod may just be showing an openness to what you are saying based on you first showing respect to them.
# SMILE APPROPRIATELY
Smiling all the time can appear fake. Even though smiling is wonderful thing to do, it has most impact when it is used directly in response to something you or the other person has said.
It should be a flash smile, not an forever underling one.
It should POP into conversation with others to unable them to receive your smile as just for them! What a great gift.
The constant smile makes others suspect fear in you. When moneys first meet they draw their lips back at each other signalling their fear at the other's presence and their subordinance.
So start implementing the body language of acceptance to put people around you at ease and help to persuade everyone to make the right decision in the best way possible.
I would love to know how these tips worked out for you. So let me know your successes in the comments below.